PLEASE READ YOU WILL LIKE IT I PROMISE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sexual Urges I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. And I never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. And I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the words "I do." One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I dont feel like it. I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT???" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dread. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. Im thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep. The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on three different, very expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200.00 a pair to which I say OK. And then we go to the jewellery department where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you. She was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I dont think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK. She was almost sexually excited from all of this, and you should have seen her face when she said, "Im ready to go to the cash register." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey, I dont feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face. It went completely blank. I then said, "Really, honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man." I figure that I wont be having sex again until some time after the Spring of 2008 but dam it was worth it."

If you like to ujse you cam then try the dell cam software no delay it is the best I have ever seen we are jen76 on there http://www.sightspeed.com/dellvideochat/downloadquicksteps

Stupid Questions 1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress? 2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth? 3. Why cant woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed? 4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my names Bob. Im an alcoholic"? 5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit? 6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? 7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer? 8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date? 9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? 10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think ill squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"? 11. What do people in China call their good plates? 12. If the professor on Gilligans Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why cant he fix a hole in a boat? 13. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? Theyre both dogs. 14. What do you call male ballerinas? 15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream? 16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesnt he buy his dinner? 17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker? 18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? 19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from? 20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong? 21. Why is it that when someone tells you that theres billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you theres wet paint somewhere you have to touch it? 22. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass? 23. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?